Chills

I turned 5 recently, not that anyone noticed. Mom was busy with the PTA campaign. We've all been avoiding that subject altogether ever since then. In case you didn't hear, things did not turn out as mom so confidently planned. It is not easy to see mom lose. I have turned to poetry writing in this very difficult time.

Chills


Staring through the fleshy window
but looking at nothing
because there is nothing
where there was something

It's shrinking; both of them
dying in the light that grows
Irritated by the brightness
the brightness it won't let in

Shutting, shutting, shutting,
Shutting automatically to protect
To protect from something
so contrasted from what's internal

Shutting. Not to hold in.
But shutting to keep out.
There is nothing worth holding in
Yet a fear that something is worse than nothing

Turning, moving, leaving, walking
Keeping away from the brightness
Left wandering to prevent
Left wandering to protect and prevent

Protect from what causes chills.
Protect from what causes chills.